Even my mind is yours….
I think too much… I honestly do. I wish i didn’t but I know that’s a skill that’s going to take me sometime to learn. I wake up in the morning with a million thoughts swimming through my mind… (my mind: What am I going to wear, did she really say that last night?, what am I going to eat, man my room is a hot mess, I really need to finish school….) That isn’t one after the other either. Each of these thoughts somehow are flowing all at the same time. Almost causing me to feel a bit on the off side. But hey we all have our quirks right?
I’m back in my hometown visiting my parents. I’m staying longer than ever. About 2 weeks. I really needed to get away and my mom just had surgery so it worked out great to have a vaca and come and see her also 
Anywho… I’m getting off tangent as I usually do.
I woke up and questioned myself. I mean we all have those conversations in our mind weather we admit it or not. I know I do it allll the time. Like, why the heck did you just say that? Or oh my gosh is this really happening right now? Yeah we all do it! So today was no different. I guess since I’m naturally timid I have nothing but thoughts about many situations.
I wonder why I let the words of others run my life. I have always let the words of everyone run my life. My friends, family, the media… It gets so tiring trying to please everyone cause it never turns out good anyways. Like after every conversation I sit there and replay the conversation in my mind to think what I should or shouldnt have said to him or her. That is just insane. Someone once told me to let the people around you get to experience the entire you, quirks and all or else they’ll never know who you really are. Well how I try. It’s something I always have to leave at the feet of Jesus cause I know he can transform all hearts and minds. Even how weird mine may feel to me. I’m just learning to really love who the lord has made me to be. It’s a hard thing when I want to change so much but I think about if I were different I wouldn’t have encountered the people that are in my lives now… and that would be sad. So I end these thoughts with a prayer…
Father God, I thank you for being constant in my life. Thank you for loving me just the way I am and lord in that I would learn to love me just the way you’ve created me. I pray those very words for anyone who may fall upon this and may be feeling that same way. Lord Jesus transform our hearts so we may be used by you continually. Lord again I thank you for choosing to use us through our brokeness. Purify our hearts, and let the lies of satan be destroyed when amongst your truth…. your love.. your grace. I ask all these things in Jesus’ precious name. Amen
Night Night as my God daughter Jayla would say
Anywho… I’m getting off tangent as I usually do.
I woke up and questioned myself. I mean we all have those conversations in our mind weather we admit it or not. I know I do it allll the time. Like, why the heck did you just say that? Or oh my gosh is this really happening right now? Yeah we all do it! So today was no different. I guess since I’m naturally timid I have nothing but thoughts about many situations.
I wonder why I let the words of others run my life. I have always let the words of everyone run my life. My friends, family, the media… It gets so tiring trying to please everyone cause it never turns out good anyways. Like after every conversation I sit there and replay the conversation in my mind to think what I should or shouldnt have said to him or her. That is just insane. Someone once told me to let the people around you get to experience the entire you, quirks and all or else they’ll never know who you really are. Well how I try. It’s something I always have to leave at the feet of Jesus cause I know he can transform all hearts and minds. Even how weird mine may feel to me. I’m just learning to really love who the lord has made me to be. It’s a hard thing when I want to change so much but I think about if I were different I wouldn’t have encountered the people that are in my lives now… and that would be sad. So I end these thoughts with a prayer…
Father God, I thank you for being constant in my life. Thank you for loving me just the way I am and lord in that I would learn to love me just the way you’ve created me. I pray those very words for anyone who may fall upon this and may be feeling that same way. Lord Jesus transform our hearts so we may be used by you continually. Lord again I thank you for choosing to use us through our brokeness. Purify our hearts, and let the lies of satan be destroyed when amongst your truth…. your love.. your grace. I ask all these things in Jesus’ precious name. Amen
Night Night as my God daughter Jayla would say
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