Something strange is consuming me… it longs to take my joy, my smile, and every bit of happiness I own inside of me. It causes me to feel physically tired, and just down at times that I truely shouldn’t. Lord I know these are lies… yet i still feel this way.  I feel as if I have nobody. I’m surrounded in a room full of loved ones and I am forcing a smile, I’m going a long with all the actions so they aren’t concerned about me. But inside I’m crying. Jesus please take this emptiness away… I know all i need is you but this darkness just seems to hover over me… The harder I run from it, the faster it follows behind me. I am growing weary of running… I want to get over this….

I keep painting on a smile but right now I am exposed as a fake…