Sometimes I feel like I’m on some never ending rollercoaster. The wind is blowing swiftly through my hair, on my skin. It soothes me, calms me… but at the same time I’m scared! At times I want to get off and just place my feet on solid ground… but I know that’s the easy way out, and life is challenging so I just continue this bogus ride! I’m not here to complain about my life, how hard it is or anything relating to that. I’m just sitting here reflecting on my emotions right now. I chose to share them with the world. Maybe someone out there is feeling this way too. When I look into the mirror, when I see what is staring back at me, when I actually see me… I question it. Have you ever had to stop dead in your tracks and ask yourself “Who am I” I have!!! 

Inside me I feel like an unwritten book, unsang melody, untold story. Like a caged bird, a firecracker waiting for the Boom! Inside of me I have so much to say, so much to share but I just am a “Prisoner of Words” Words left unsaid like Alicia Keys said. It’s true. I battle myself. When the times arises for me to speak my mind I withdraw myself… and just bear it all on my own… silence. 

So I SCREAM out onto this screen, I pour out my soul into my journal, I sing my sweet melody with each word I write. It’s the only way I can survive this self inflicted battle. I keep praying for the Lord to release me from these chains I have bound myself in, but in order to do that I must face my past. Release the demons that haunt me, bring truth to the lies the enemy has been telling me for so long. Until I do so I am a Prisoner. I smile at you, but you don’t see my tears, you can’t hear my cries. One day I will be brave, I will speak out. The Lord will fill all my empty, unsure parts with confidence. Slowly but surely I will be taken out of the darkness. Until then I remain smiling at you in this big facade… a beautiful masquerade!